baby blues

Every time I see a new born's eyes
something reaches up from deep inside
I wonder how yours would have been
were they green or a browner hue after your first
new born baby blues


I would have held you tight
when you cried all hours of the night
wiped your tears
held you near
every time
my child
my children
or maybe just you
my baby boy(s) I still need you
I'm sorry I couldn't bring you here to stay
stress induced you on your way
sorry Daddy and I are so far away


I hold another's new born babe
I think of you and ask for grace
having parted can not erase
the pain that reminds Ill never see your face
or teach you to be part of this mad, mad human race.

No pain is greater than the pain
of unknowing
this void between life and death
this sorrow still catches in my breath
this river Styx I keep crossing in unrest

silence rides a static wind
caressing my face with what could have been
the flower wilts
anther tear slowly falls
another night calmly passes


to my affinity you belong
my darlings unforgotten